Marriage can be hard work and making yours last can take patience, time, and attention. When a marriage starts to fail, it can be hard to pinpoint the problem and come up with the effort required to get it back on track. In the middle of life when circumstances seem intent on ruining your marriage it can be tempting to just call it quits. But don't assume that an unhappy marriage is a lost cause. Your relationship can be repaired if one of you wants it to work badly enough.
So, the very first step that should be taken when it comes to repairing a failed marriage is to simply admit it is time to for the two of you to do something about it. This is often the most challenging step for married couples.
Communication is something that is a big part of a relationship and if you or your partner are feeling unhappy you should discuss these feelings with each other. If you're bottling all your feelings up, you're going to be adding to the distance between the two of you instead of closing the gap.
Deal with one situation at a time. In a marriage it's typical that things such as money, household chores, child care, and other family responsibilities cause problems. Deal with them individually rather than bringing up them all at once. Taking on all the issues in your marriage is going to be overwhelming to both you and your partner. It will create bitterness between the two of you and you'll never find a solution you both agree on. Try to figure out what problems in the marriage are the worst and don't get caught up in petty disagreements. Learn when to let things go!
Express love and respect for your spouse, even if they've upset you. Loving attention and affection are probably the best ways to fix a failing marriage. Many relationships are destroyed because one of you is not getting the attention he or she needs. Making an effort to treat your partner with respect and gratitude will help to fix an unhappy marriage and make it better. You might think that this is an impossible task, especially if you've felt that you haven't been given love and affection first. For your own sake try to be a better person and the first to give. You could discover that your spouse has been longing for this affection and will respond in kind.
Do something the two of you have never done before: take an unplanned road trip, go for a bike ride, take a trip on a ferry, sneak away for a night at a hotel, pack an elaborate picnic, or simply lie down on a blanket looking at the stars. Just take a day to forget the problems in the marriage and be together.
Try to approach each other the way you did when you first met and remember the love you shared at that time. Marriage counselors will tell you that sometimes the best way to fix your marriage is to stop focusing only on the problems that drive you apart.
It's okay to look for help to repair a marriage and often it's the only way forward. Don't get caught up in feeling like a failure because you and your spouse need help with your marriage. Sometimes the best marriages are those that have gone through rocky times and come out on the other side.
