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Lobolo or Lobola (Mahadi in Sesotho; sometimes translated as bride price) is a traditional Southern African custom whereby the man pays the family of his fiancée for her hand in marriage (Compare with the European dowry custom where the woman brings assets[citation needed]). The custom is aimed at bringing the two families together, fostering mutual respect, and indicating that the man is capable of supporting his wife financially and emotionally.
Traditionally the lobola payment was in cattle as cattle were the primary source of wealth in African society. However, most modern urban couples have switched to using cash. The process of lobola negotiations can be long and complex, and involves many members from both the bride's and the groom's extended families. Often, to dispel any tensions between the families, a bottle of brandy is placed on the table. This is usually not drunk; it is simply a gesture to welcome the guest family and make everyone feel more relaxed (it is known as mvulamlomo, which is Xhosa for 'mouth opener').
Lobola may have some unintended negative effects. It may have created a financial barrier for some young men looking to take a bride. It is common for a couple that are emotionally ready to commit to each other to stay unmarried if they do not have the financial resources to satisfy the impeding traditional ritual. For those who do have the financial means, the issue can be Lobola's opportunity cost. Young men who are in the wealth-creation stage of life may feel that their future is better secured if they invest their money elsewhere to receive significant financial returns.
Lobola is seen by some as an extravagance that has little relevance in a society where young Africans are trying to lift themselves out of inherited poverty. However, the tradition is adhered to as strongly as ever, and in families where tradition and intention override greed, lobola can be a great way of showing commitment between families, not just between the bride and groom. Many traditional marriages utilise a cash-based lobola; this can be then followed by a European-style wedding ceremony, where the lobola funds are used to pay for expenses. In this way, any outlaid costs are returned to the payer in another form, preserving tradition, honour and finances.
A 2010 example of lobola in Zimbabwe, among the Shona people, used household goods and cash in lieu of cattle. The custom included gifts of clothing to the parents of the bride, grocery items and cash.
An outfit for the mother of the bride is called "Nhumbi dzaamai". This will traditionally include a blanket alongside a standard outfit, while the outfit for the father is "Nhumbi dzababa" and will often be a suit of choice to later wear for the European wedding ceremony.
The price for meeting the in-laws is called "Mbonano" and is entry to the house. This is followed by "Gusui", a second price for greeting the in-laws and accompanied by the traditional greeting (special clapping). Subsequent gifts of cash or food are then placed into a special plate that is used for the occasion. This is either bought or borrowed and has a price reference as well: "Kubuisa ndiro" (the price of buying, borrowing or returning the plate).
Other gifts or prices include "Vhuranuiouo" for the greeting of the guests, "Dare" for calling of the witnesses to the marriage and "Mabandiwzxoaus" for the explanation of "How did you meet my daughter" or "Who told you that I have a daughter?"
Gifts for the mother of the bride then include "Mbereko", for carrying the bride in a pouch or sling when she was a baby, and "Mafukidzadumba" for "covering of the belly"; this is alternately translated as "carrying the baby in the womb" or "tucking the baby in with a blanket (when she wakes in the night)".
A special gift for the father of the bride is the "Matekewyandevu" to compensate him for "the pulling of the beard" as she sat on his knee, or putting up with the playful antics of his daughter as a child.
This is followed by an allowance for "Mari inouhongwa nemusihare" or the purchase of household or cooking utensils, and this amount is given to the bride. If there are younger sisters or siblings, she may give them a portion of the money.
Next comes the actual "bride price". This is called "Rusambo" and although the whole above process is referred to or called "lobolo" or "lobola", this is the name given to the whole ceremony and all of the gifts, not just the bride price or dowry. Traditionally a gift of cattle, this is most commonly paid in cash, although the amounts will still be representative of fair market price for cattle.
The new groom will also pay for "Munongedzi wedanga", a stick used for driving the cattle into the corral. If the cattle are cash equivalents, the stick will also be its cash equivalent.
Grocery items and outfits are at the discretion of the bride's parents, and will be included and inspected after the Rusambo. Adhering to the stated requirements of the new in-laws is a show of respect from the new son-in-law. It is often advisable to do exactly as stated or better, to ensure smooth relations between the newly united families.
After the gifts, the groom greets the in-laws as a new groom (no longer a prospective groom or stranger, but a member of the family) with the special traditional clapping greeting and is permitted to be a part of the household. In some traditional circumstances, the younger siblings of the new bride may also see the groom as an alternate husband and he may be responsible for their welfare. The younger sisters may also be offered as alternate wives in the case of death of the bride (older daughter), in similar fashion to ancient (Mosaic) Jewish tradition. Once welcomed to the family, the groom may be given an animal totem and the respectful title of "Sakuru" or "Uncle".
As with any tradition or cultural custom, lobola may be misinterpreted or misunderstood by those who view it from an outside perspective. It can also be open to misuse or abuse (as any man-made tradition can) and common sense must prevail to ensure that both families are happy with the arrangements.
