Having an emotional spouse can prove to be challenging for any marriage. The real challenging is not only trying to cope with an emotional spouse, but also understanding what you can do to try and make it better for both you and your spouse.
Now before I go any further, I want to make sure that I am not just talking about women being emotional. Believe it or not, men can be rather emotional at times as well. These concepts to me are completely universal - meaning they are applicable to both men AND women alike.
That being said, here are a couple of tips that I use in my own marriage -
1. Do not be too quick to judge
What I mean by that is do not assume right off the bat that your emotional spouse is going overboard. What I am really trying to work on is taking a quick step back so that I can understand "what" is triggering this response. All too often, we assume that our spouse is just flying off the handle. If I can identify what is creating that behavior, I can then come up with a plan that would best suit the both of us. There is obviously a reason why it happens. When we assume that they are just being over-dramatic, we could be missing the bigger picture. Maybe there is an underlying issue that needs to be dealt with.
2. Try and be considerate of what your spouse may be thinking.
I am guilty as charged with responding in a way that does not help any situation. By that I mean that I say something like, "You need to just calm down" or simply, "Relax, you are completely over-reacting." But who am I to say whether or not my spouse if over-reacting? I am not inside her head! I understand that I have an emotional spouse and I am learning how to deal with that. What I have been training myself to do is to try and put myself in her shoes. While to me, her actions may be overblown, but that is the way she feels. How can I sit here and tell her what NOT to feel?
3. Lastly, the best thing that I can do is allow her to finish speaking.
Nothing makes it worse than when I start cutting her off. Let your spouse talk and absorb what he or she is saying THEN comment back. If you are already dealing with an emotional spouse, rest assured that not letting them speak freely is only going to make matters worse. I know because I have done it! I have a horrible knack of cutting people off. When you do that, number one you do not let the other person say what they are thinking. Number two, it appears as though you do not respect what your spouse is saying. This is just unhealthy for everyone!
Dealing with an emotional spouse is challenging and sometimes just flat out draining. It gets to the point where some couples do not feel like they can coexist together any longer.
At the end of the day though, we all have our own emotions that we deal with it in different ways. Do not be so quick to write your spouse off because he or she is emotional. Talk through it, learn from it and continue to try and love each other to the best of your ability!
